subwaywalls:

I’m so glad i don’t have enough friends to nominate me for the ice bucket challenge

kaibii:

toronjas:

I JUST SAW THIS ON FACEBOOK
O M G

jesus wants in on a threesome

(via capriciouslittleflower)

(via dotcore)

debt:

I play the keyboard in a band called The Internet

(via fake-mermaid)

awwww-cute:

Today my boyfriend bought a label maker

(via clefairyonodera)

sextspert:

superwholock-at-hogwarts:

chevvybar:

hiddlestalker:

lifehackable:

More Life Hacks Here

Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS

Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?

year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!

year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.

(via geekybatman)

(via masturbite)

tastefullyoffensive:

Video game store makes the most of their broken shutters. [x]

(via fcukyeah)

ask-gallows-callibrator:

levi-has-the-booty:

Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
[Class titters]
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
[Laughter increases]
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH 

SHOTS FIRED 

(via sarcastic-snowflake)

toasteraffairs:

goodnight

sleep tight

don’t let the patriarchy steal your basic human rights

(via lady-fir-e)

headphones-in-do-not-disturb:

theorgyorganizer:

fuck education who wants to start a band

your URL makes me suspicious of your intentions with this band.

(via thatbrummielass)

gamko:

Oh, no, of course, you’re right. My mistake.

(via spoopyspiders)

bveryverygood:

twinzik:

Becoming A Thornberry!

More on our FB page- http://facebook.com/twinzik.twins

THIS IS SMASHING

(via geekybatman)

ninetween:

diickhead:

makes a man go broom broom

SHUT UP YOU DID NOT

(via weloveshortvideos)

(via punkmonksteven)